fredag, marts 28, 2008

And then to put it away

There are times I wish I were cold-blooded. If only I were empty of all emotions, I could be invulnerable. But I am only human.

Sometimes an overflowing river of sorrow engulfs me. Sometimes I feel utterly hurt and disappointed - either in myself or in people who have let me down. Sometimes I really wish I could be deliriously happy. Sometimes I hope simply for peaceful contentment. Sometimes I am afflicted with devastating pessimism. Sometimes I truly think that people are secretly wondering why I haven't committed suicide yet. Sometimes I yearn for these people to voice out their question instead of keeping it to themselves - so that, in response, I can suggest to them that they should read Albert Camus. Life is absurd in itself. It does not require suicide; it requires revolt. And sometimes of these times, I wish I wouldn't be so sad.

How do I deal with sadness? I look at that which has evoked ferocious melancholy within me. I stare at that which has involved me in overwhelming pensiveness. I think about that which has aroused maddening grief in my heart. I obsess endlessly over it. I focus my mind solely and fiercely on it. The longer I look unflichingly at it in its face, the longer I stare persistently at it, the longer I dwell stubbornly upon it, the more the pain diminishes. I attempt to psycho-analyse myself. I try to destroy this profound agony, to take it apart, thread by thread, until it becomes nothing but a wisp, a shadow, a fragment of ash. After some time, the anguish fades away. By then I will have numbed myself sufficiently; I will have lost all ability to react to that which has drowned me in depression; I will have calmed and soothed myself, and I will no longer be able to feel any misery.

I've been thinking about the letter Virginia Woolf wrote to her husband, Leonard. "Dear Leonard, always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always the hours. Dear Leonard, to look life in the face. Always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then to put it away."

All I have to do is to tell myself, Please, to look sadness in the face. Always to look sadness in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is.

And then to put it away.

7 kommentarer:

Anonym sagde ...

good advice. but i'm not strong enough to heed it. i don't even know if i can muster the courage to confront it in the first place.

enelrahs sagde ...

On the other hand, i, admire you.

Einna sagde ...

I love your writing! Keep it up
and
Cheers!

Anonym sagde ...

你好 我来自中国 我的英文不好 我想知道弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙写给她丈夫的信的内容,是什么意思
hello I come from china,my English is poor.
I want to know the chinese meaning about the letter Virginia Woolf wrote to her husband

Anonym sagde ...

To look life in the face 要直面人生
always to look life in the face 永远直面人生
and to know it for what it is 了解它的真谛
at last to know it 永远的了解
to love it for what it is 爱它的本质
and then to put it away 然后,放弃它

Miao sagde ...

来自中国的朋友,你好!不好意思,我刚刚才看见你的留言。看来你已经查出信的内容是什么意思了。:) 那是一篇非常不错的译文。

你的英文并不差,句子都很通顺呀!请问你是怎么找到我的blog的呢?

Anonym sagde ...

你好!看来可以用中文交流了:-)
我最近在研习英语所以对于英语长难句比较感兴趣,偶然看到了那句话,通过google搜索寻找中文翻译时,找到了这里的博客。
很高兴看到你的回复